Not So Fast My Friend!

Not so Fast My FriendI am not the brightest bulb in the socket or the sharpest knife in the drawer, however I am learning that cancer and the treatments for cancer don’t really care about my time lines. On Monday I was told that I was accepted into a clinical trial that quite frankly had me pretty excited. In fact I was given the consent form, that basically says we have no idea what’s going to happen to you while you are in the trial and there is a chance some pretty bad things could happen. What’s one to do, damned if you do damned if you don’t. Bad things are happening so let’s a least try to mitigate them by getting in the trial … right.

So Monday night my wife and I go through the paper work, and I sign the consent form. Tuesday morning I call the research nurse, and I explain to her who I am and why I am calling. “Hi I’m Jeff Castner and I’ve been approved to join clinical trial AF-101B, just want to know the best way to get the consent forms back to you and I would like to schedule treatment beginning on Tuesday in Evanston.” Much to my surprise she responds “You are not yet approved and we have some tests that we need to do before you can be approved.” WHAT THE &UCK!

Channeling my inner calm and best what would Jesus do voice, I explain that the Doctor told me I was approved and that all the test were complete and we could get started on Tuesday in Evanston if that is my treatment center of choice. Her response “Well the Doctor doesn’t make that call there are rules to follow and I am a big believer in following the rules to the letter.” She and I are going to get along just fine … NOT.

Life is funny, I can handle the big stuff with ease and grace. I think I’ve done a pretty good job handling the you got cancer message. It’s the little stuff that sends me into a tail spin of fury. I don’t have time to get into it here but anybody that knows my brother, sister, or father, should ask one of them about the time Johnny Rockets put onions on my cheese burger or ask my wife about the time McDonald’s wanted to charge me for two apple pies when the menu clearly stated that they were 2 for $1.00.

After several deep breaths, I ask “How to we get done what we need to get done”. Imagine this, it requires more blood work and a couple of tumor samples. I quickly run off to the Kellogg Cancer Center and give the standard 5 tubes of blood, she explains that they have the tumor slides and I will need to have some more blood work on Thursday and hopefully we can get into the trial by weeks end.

For years I’ve been praying for patience, I guess the Big Man is going to give me a number of lessons. Just wish he would have found an easier way to do it 🙂




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