Just When I Thought it was Over!

If you’ve been following my ramblings you know that a week ago I started my  second cycle of Chemotherapy. I say cycle because that actual drug is pretty much child’s play compared to what happens after the drug treatment is finished. I am not going to recycle my story on how round two started but if you want to refresh your memory just click here. I relate going through chemo a lot like a sporting event, after the initial game is played you need to review the game film and figure out what went well and what didn’t. Today way film day for me.

In all honesty I thought I did pretty well with round two. We learned a lot about managing the side effects after the first round and stayed ahead of all the big ones. I’m not sure if this is accurate or not but some medical folks are telling me Chemo has a cumulative effect. (Of Course if Does :()

This round it was not diarrhea, or constipation, or nausea, it was the head trash. I mean some serious head trash. More doubt set in this week than at any time in the process. The only way I can describe the post treatment experience would be comparing it to last year’s Super Bowl. Like most self-respecting fans I hate the Patriots, I hate their coach Bill Belichick and their quarterback Tom Brady. Like the Atlanta Falcons, after the actual treatment, which for today’s purpose we will call half time, I was very confident. Up on the scoreboard, I really thought I had the other two monkeys on the ramp at bay and believed I was going to fall into position one or two. But those other two monkeys are tough SOBs, like Belichick and Brady they are going to make you work for every advantage and point. Fatigue has been my biggest battle the past week. Not your run of the mill fatigue but like I might faint fatigue.

Obvisouly this was what we were going to concentrate on in today appointment. So today starts like every other appointment however this is at Glenbrook instead of our preferred location of Evanston. As I walk up to the desk I literally have to stop and rest, in fact my wife had to check me in. There go those two other sneaky bastard Monkeys Bill and Monkey Tom. Well I get checked in and I hear Jeffrey, Jeffrey, meaning my turn. As we start to walk back the nurse looks at me and asks are you OK? First and Foremost, I am a cancer patient so that kind of answers the question doesn’t it. Would a better question/comment be you look a little uneasy how can I help. Anyway I make it back to the “vitals room” and literally collapse in the bigger of the chairs in the room. The nurse say she wants to take my vitals I ask for a minute to compose myself and we begin. She starts with a sitting blood pressure which comes in at 112/50 a little low but no one seems alarmed, than she asked to do a standing blood pressure. This is going to be interesting I think to myself. As the machine is doing its thing you can see alarm start to set in. I am struggling to remain standing but like all things this shall pass. Finally we get the reading. 75/21 ! Well in come the wheel chairs and professional Jeffy just made the day interesting again.

So the lessons are pretty clear. The battle isn’t over until the fat lady is singing. Then it might not be over. The battle is real and the opponent is as determined to win as I am. Not mater how tough it gets my key is to keep the prize in mind and my prize is My Why. My Why gets bigger and more clear every day, from my immediate family, to my brother and sister to the girls in Carolina to kids in the Ville. I won’t give up on this. A very good friend from Columbus, OH sent me a text today that simply said “take it one minute at a time, you have big support, and don’t let us down”. Jimmy I can’t thank you enough for putting it like that, it is the “us” that I won’t let down. Yea there are going to be tears, way to many tears. On a said note I don’t think there is anybody that has talked to me in the last 60 days that hasn’t heard me turn in to a babbling cry baby, but I don’t care. There are going to be joys, some little some big. But it is the fight that matters. As Jimmy V said “Don’t Give Up, Don’t Ever Give Up”

Now that I have names of the other two bastard monkeys on the ramp it will be very easy to channel the hatred toward them. As my Uncle Cal would have said I can’t wait to wring those two Rat Bastards Necks!

#Third Monkey Strong

#Just Beat It.


  1. Stay strong! Many prayers are coming you way.

  2. Thinking about u everyday Jeff! Keep fighting!

Add Comment